ALIENS!
by XbehindtheseaX
Summary: No, we were not invaded by each other, something came to invade us. This is, indeed, the story of an alien invasion. And like everything, this story ends with Italy." What happens when the nations are confronted with an alien attack?
1. Prologue

It was a normal day in the life of the nations.

No, that's too cliché and poorly worded.

It was an abnormal day, which automatically makes it a normal day.

So a normal day would be abnormal for us.

And today was so normal, something abnormal was bound to happen.

Understand?

Ahh, well. I can see you don't. Let me try again.

My name is Germany, and this is about the day the world was invaded. It was quiet, peaceful almost. There was a world meeting and surprisingly nobody argued. Strange enough.

But there is no such thing as a normal day, so the abnormal part was bound for after the meeting.

And, no, we were not invaded by each other, something came to invade us. This is, indeed, the story of an alien invasion.

And like everything, this story ends with Italy.

Along the way, you shall see:

1) Italy making a fool of himself.

2) America making a fool of himself.

3) That Sealand boy attempting to take on an alien race.

4) England fighting with France.

5) China beating on alien spacecraft with a wok.

6) My (possibly mental) older brother trying to enlist the aliens into an army to gain his country back.

7) Japan building robots.

8) Crying Italians.

9) Myself, attempting to keep the world from falling apart.

10) Pasta. (This was to be expected)

Listen, for this is an important story. It is the only day in my memory that all the nations were on one side…sort of.

So, this was not a normal day. I wish I had normal days.

But I suppose, as our days go, this is one of the more abnormal.

… No, I will never get a normal day.

* * *

_This is not going to be a very long series. Probably only four to five chapters long._

_Four to five chapters of complete CRACK!_

_There will a bit of fluff, and the story won't be depressing. I promise. This is not an angst fic about the end of the world. (Not that those aren't AWESOME)_

_There may be mild pairings, but you'll have to kinda squint and look for it._

_This is my first attempt at crack… fun (: _

_-Lissa_


	2. INVASION!

The first thing I found when I awoke that fateful morning: a naked Italian clinging to my waist.

Alright, it honestly wasn't a surprise, but I couldn't help but be angry.

"Italy, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I said it as calmly as I possibly could, with just a bit of frustration hissing through my teeth.

"Hmm?" He looked up at me sleepily, his fly away curl swaying as he turned.

"What. The Hell. Do-"

"Sleeping, of course!" He interrupted brightly. "Ve, silly Germany!"

I struggled out of his surprisingly strong hold and sat up. "We have a meeting today-or did that fact escape your very small mind?"

He completely ignored the insult and proceeded to sit up as well. "Oh! Si! I know we have a meeting! It's going to be so fun~"

I grumbled and threw the covers off myself, avoiding removing them from my -erm- companion.

"Get ready, Italy." I muttered while making my way to my dresser. "And PLEASE get dressed."

After a few minutes of rummaging, I drew out a black shirt and jeans. (None of us bothered to dress up for these things anymore.)

When I exited from my bathroom, fully dressed and groomed, I found him struggling to get ready.

His pants were on and buttoned (quiet surprising, actually) and he'd managed to put socks on without breaking something (again, quite surprising), but he seemed to be wrestling with a short-sleeved button up shirt.

"Germany! How am I supposed to button this if I can't reach the buttons?" He was desperately reaching for his back.

"You have it on backwards." I sighed.

"Oh!" He giggled, putting it on the correct way. He began to fiddle with the buttons hopelessly, eventually turning to me. "Will you help me?"

I dragged my hand down my face in utter unamusement. "Come here."

He skipped over several feet, nearly falling along the way. I did up his shirt neatly, trying to touch him as little as possible. "There. Go find your shoes."

"Okay, Germany~"

I made my way into the kitchen, racing to find food before-

"Germany! I'm making pasta for breakfast!" He'd magically appeared at the counter, already pulling out pots and strainers.

"Italy…" I began to protest.

He started singing that silly little song about _amore_, happily gathering various ingredients and making a mess.

I hurried to wipe up every crumb he spilled, ready to explode from rage. But he _was_ doing this out of the goodness of his little Italian heart (or he was honestly evil and purposefully trying to get me to have a heart attack.)

"Germany!" He yanked me back to reality by shoving a giant bowl of his trademark food into my hands.

I stared down at it blankly, frozen still after feeling a slight tremor in the ground below me.

"Germany~" He began to chant.

"What?" I finally responded.

"You're acting funny! You were staring at your pasta but it looked like you weren't, ve."

"Italy, did you just feel that?"

"No? What was I supposed to feel?" He cocked his head and stared at me with his light brown eyes.

I shrugged it off as a figment of my imagination and took my place at the table. "Nothing." I began to pick at the pasta disinterestedly. "Forget it."

He got a bowl. "Can I turn on the TV, Germany?"

"No." I said firmly. "Last time I let you near it, I found myself buying a new one. "

"Can I turn on the radio?"

I thought about this, deciding it wouldn't be the end of the world if he broke a radio. "Fine."

He practically squealed as he flicked on the small black object I kept on my counter.

I ate in silence, listening to him sing along to some girl named Taylor Swift.

"_Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone_

_I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run_

_You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess_

_It's a love story_

_Baby, just say yes"_

"Please, Italy. STOP singing." I rubbed my temples, dropping my half-full pasta bowl into the sink to be dealt with later.

He ignored me (of course), yet, a miracle occurred.

The radio stopped. Well…Italy didn't. He carried on loudly and off-key, having memorized the lyrics to that damn song.

When he finally realized what had happened, he ceased. We listened intently to the strange static whine that had begun to echo from the radio.

"We apologize, but there has been a technical difficulty in our station. Please check back later."

A recording came through the fuzz, and we shrugged. He leaned over to fiddle with the dial…

…Only to find every station saying the exact same thing.

"Just turn it off." I said, slightly worried. Then I came up with the perfect explanation: Romano had been messing with German radio as some sort of revenge.

I was no longer frightened as Italy and I left the house that morning, for the sky was perfectly blue. Why did I focus on the sky? Was it intuition? Am I psychic? I don't have any idea why there was a part of me that dragged my eyes to the cloudless sky.

"HEY! WEST! YOU'RE LEAVING WITHOUT ME?!" A certain albino shouted across the yard as I opened the car door.

"Gilbert, you never go to these." I watched as he ran to join us. "And where have you been this morning?"

"I've been playing awesome video games in my room. And I just feel like coming with you."

"Did you clean your room like I asked you to?"

He jumped into the car without answering. "Drive, West! Drive!"

I mentally kicked myself for informing him that there was a meeting today. "Whatever." I slid unto the seat and started the engine.

'_The meeting's at England's house. That isn't too far off. I'll survive'. _I thought.

That is, until Prussia got bored and turned on the radio.

"We apologize, but there has been a technical difficulty in our station. Please check back later."

"What the hell?"He complained, sulking like he'd just found out he had six weeks to live.

"The radio isn't working." I said tiredly. "I think Romano was involved."

He nodded, leaning back into his seat.

"Why would Romano do anything to you? You're so nice, Germany!"

My brother and I sighed in unison, although he was smirking more so than anything else.

"So, Italy!" The man behind me began. "Have you ever heard of The Song That Never Ends?"

"NO!!!!!!!" I shouted, nearly losing control of the wheel. "DON'T YOU DARE TEACH HIM THAT!"

"_THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS! IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS! SOMEBODY STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS! NOW THEY'RE STUCK SINGING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE-"_

"GILBERT!"

"Ve, how come you don't want me to know it? It sounds fun!"

I sighed in relief as we pulled into England's driveway. "_Danke Gott."_

Rushing from that dreaded car as fast as I could, I briefly noticed the sky was clouding up.

"Germany, do you think it will rain?" Italy practically jumped unto my back.

"Well, we are at England's." I knocked politely, attempting to remove the boy from my back.

"Hello, Germany." He said before he'd even completely opened the door. "You've brought Italy as well. And Prussia too. Joy. Come inside, it's supposed to storm."

The short nation (well, shorter than myself, but I suppose I'm rather tall) seemed more sour than usual. I quickly realized the reason as I heard the voice of an American carrying through his house.

"…And the TV wasn't working either!" I heard him announce.

"Fascinating, Alfred." He said sarcastically.

The four of us made our way back to a large living room that had been transformed into a meeting room. We usually did these sorts of things in formal halls, but with money being tight lately, we'd been taking turns hosting.

"Iggy! This is serious! The TV! My cell phone! The radio! Nothing's working!" He shouted over the buzz of everyone.

"EVERYONE! QUIET!" I immediately took charge.

"Ah. Hello, Germany-san. I believe you three are the last to arrive." Japan scanned over the crowd to make sure of himself. "Wait, where's Austria-san?"

"He called me and informed me he couldn't make it. He said he was sick." England sighed, grabbing a chair to sit.

"Yeah. Sick. Bet he's at home playing the piano." Gilbert laughed as he sat next to Hungary.

I smiled slightly at that. My brother _was_ probably correct.

"PRUSSIA!" Hungary seethed. "He is _not_ playing the piano. If he says he's sick, then he is! In fact, I should be taking care of him!"

"No, babe. You should stick around with the awesome me and-HEY! THAT HURT!" He rubbed his freshly-frying pan-smacked face.

"You deserved it." I replied.

Somehow, we eased into a meeting of _actual _discussion. Granted, America chimed in every now and again and was yelled at and it rained cats and dogs, but it was generally peaceful. There was talk of the recession, global warming and various other disasters overcoming our planet. For the first meeting in decades, I didn't really need to raise my voice.

It was quite nice, actually.

"We're done now, da?" The Russian smiled eerily, and I wondered if he _tried_ to look like that.

"But! You guys didn't let me talk today!" America hopped unto the table.

"GET OFF MY TABLE, YOU BLOODY GIT!" England shouted, yanking the other down by his pant leg.

However, most of us had stopped paying attention and were crowding toward the door.

"BUT THERE'S SOMETHING UP! I SWEAR! I'M GETTING ALL SORTS OF STRANGE READINGS FROM MY UFO EQUIPMENT AND-"

"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS ALIENS!"

"WELL THEN, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS FAIRIES! WHY DON'T YOU EXPLAIN WHY OUR SATTELITES ARE SCREWING UP AND STUFF?"

I took Italy by his hand and began to drag him from the house.

"Germany! You're holding my hand!" He gushed.

"I want to get out of here as quickly as possible." I looked to my brother. "Hurry, Gilbert."

Trying to cram so many nations in one house automatically creates a crowd, so when we reached the door, we were prevented from leaving.

As if that weren't enough, the power went out from the storm.

"VE! GERMANY! I'M SCARED! IT'S DARK! HOLD ME!" He leapt into my arms.

I set him on the ground, ready to give him a good lecture on why not to tackle me like that. "Italy, you-"

"Oh my God, aru." I heard China say breathlessly from the doorway.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT, POTATO BASTARD!" Romano shouted back to me.

"That's. FUCKING AWESOME!" Gilbert jumped up and down like a child.

America and England stopped arguing for a moment to come closer to the door. I forgot about Italy and did the same.

Some nations crowded to the windows as well, struggling to the make out the sight before us.

"Oh my. May God have mercy on us." England was shaking, his voice weak and terrified.

"I'll protect you, Iggy! And didn't I tell you so!" The blonde didn't seem frightened in the least. "Don't worry, everyone! I'll be your hero!"

"America." I began calmly.

"Hmm?"

"Shut the hell up."

"Germany! What is that!" The Italian pointed to the giant object eclipsing half the sky.

"Italy. That's a UFO." For some reason, I wrapped my arms around him protectively. I wouldn't let anything hurt him…

"Oh~ Sounds like fun, Germany!"

_There goes my day.

* * *

_

_Okay, I can't believe I updated so quickly. This is unusual. _

_Anyways, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna continue this, but reviews are GREATLY appreciated. They make you more excited about continuing, you know?_

_Also, about them getting from country to country so fast…well, they're nations. They defy logic._

_THE ALIENS ARE COMING!_

_-Lissa_


	3. ALIENS IN AUSTRIA!

Needless to say, it took but thirty seconds for all the nations in attendance to lose it.

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, ARU!" China began to hyperventilate, leaning against a happily grinning Russia.

"We'll be fine, little Jao. We'll kill aliens before they kill us, da?"

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE?!" Italy could no longer breathe. "WE HAVE TO SURRENDER, FAST!" He pulled several white flags from his pockets and ran for the door.

"ITALY!" I caught him by his shirt and dragged him back. "Calm down! Now is not a time to panic!"

"Is it a time to run away~?" He asked sweetly.

"No!"

"Has anyone considered the possibility that these extraterrestrial beings have come here for exploration and to make intergalactic contact?" Estonia suggested, trying to calm a shaking Latvia.

We silently considered this. Perhaps we were all overreacting. These could be friendly beings, here to expand our knowledge of the universe.

"Make way! I'm telling the aliens to leave! If they don't, I'll kick their butts!" Sealand shoved through the crowd of nations and was almost to the door when-

"ZAP!" A neon green lightning bolt charged from the spacecraft to Big Ben.

The young boy quickly made his way from the door. "MAMA! THEY'RE HERE TO KILL US!" He threw himself into Finland's arms.

"TAKE THE ENGLISH, NOT THE FRENCH!" France cried out to the sky.

England didn't even have the energy for a comeback; he was much too busy trying not to cry. "This is it…I suppose." He whispered.

America patted him on the back. "Iggy! Don't cry! I'm gonna save us all!"

Italy, however, made no effort to hide his tears. "GERMANY! DON'T LET ME DIE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

I honestly couldn't blame him for his fear; I was rather shaky myself. He buried his face in my chest, sobbing and clinging to me. He seemed to think I could save him.

"Italy-we're not going to die." I ran my fingers through his russet hair, suddenly determined to do something. "EVERYONE! CALM DOWN! WE NEED TO MAKE A PLAN!"

A majority of the nations quieted, save for Sealand and Italy.

"WHY SHOULD WE LISTEN TO YOU?! THIS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Romano wagged an angry finger in my face.

"How can this be my fault?" I retained my cool, much too busy to deal with the other Italy. "Everyone, I say we board up the house and make plans for battle."

Most of my fellow nations nodded, but Hungary suddenly burst forth and ran to the door.

"I have to go save him." She said simply. "None of you can stop me."

"Wait! You can't go out there!" My brother was…worried?

"Shut up, Gilbert! I have to go save Roderich! Now is not the time for you to be immature and selfish!"

"Who's to say he isn't safer in his own house?" He took her by her shoulders, trying to stare her down.

She shrugged him off. "I don't want to take the chance that he isn't. And if the world is ending…he's the only person I want to be with."

His eyes widened in shock…hurt.

"You still can't go out there." I said calmly. "It could be dangerous."

She shoved past my brother and I and rushed out the open door. "Then I'll save him myself. But if you really care, you can come with me."

Gilbert quickly followed, causing me to run behind.

Italy followed me to the doorway before I stopped him. "You can't come with me."

"But…you can't leave me alone."

"You're not alone, there are other nations."

"Don't leave me." He looked completely pitiful, his fists balled up as tightly as possible and arms glued to his sides.

Had this been a movie, I would have taken the opportunity to spill all my emotion. I would have kissed him; I would have made a passionate promise to return. However, this was not a movie, so I did none of those.

"Stay. Here. Italy." I said firmly. "Japan, England; you're in charge."

The two men looked to me in horror, pointing to themselves to clarify.

I nodded, hurrying out to join Hungary and Prussia. I was almost to the car when:

"GERMANY! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE! GERMANY! LET ME COME-"

"ITALY!" I roared back to him. "CAN YOU SHUT THE HELL UP AND GO BACK INSIDE?!"

He'd already latched himself to my waist, nuzzling tearfully into my side. I had not an ounce of patience; I was on a mission. The London streets were filled with England's terrified people, the world quite possibly coming to an end. I didn't think before elbowing him rather hard in the chest, making him fall back and release a yelp of pain.

"Italy…" I said softly. "Italy, I didn't mean to…" Looking down at his crumpled form, I realized I couldn't leave him behind like that.

With most of the world watching me from the door and windows, I picked him up and carried him to the car.

* * *

"How much longer until we get to Austria's?" He asked perkily from the back seat.

"Just a little bit, Ita-chan." Hungary said quietly. She scrutinized the sky as we grew nearer, looking for any sign of another spacecraft.

"Gilbert, have you tried calling England again?" I pulled down the familiar streets of Vienna, trying to form a plan of action for once everyone was reunited. Unfortunately, I'd never dealt with an alien invasion before and wasn't exactly prepared.

"The phones still aren't working."

"Great." I huffed. "Well, I don't think anything's happened here yet." All of Austria seemed so peaceful…I wondered briefly if perhaps everyone at the meeting had gone insane and started seeing things at the same time.

The four of us entered his house, not even bothering to knock.

"Austria~" Italy skipped ahead of us all, pausing in front of my neighbor-nation's music room.

"_Put that down! I swear, if you're some kind of prank from Prussia- DON'T AIM THAT AT ME!" _

"RODERICH!" Elizaveta kicked the door in with one try.

"You know, we could have just opened it." I sighed.

Then I looked upon the faces of several dozen foreign looking creatures who'd taken to beating the brunette.

Aliens.

Aliens in Austria.

* * *

_You so know that they'd invade Austria's vital regions first!_

_Wow, three chapters in three days. _

_I have no life :)_

_-Lissa_


End file.
